stefanged | Drift Fleet

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"It's Stefan. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."

text | audio | video | in-person

[He sent this message to Alex, but sure, he knows who does the paperwork- so Stefan will get a warning too]

Stefan, there's something I need to warn you about regarding your new crewmate Theon.

That he's a giant dick? Or is there something worse?

I appreciate the heads-up, but at this rate, the rest of the crew'll jettison him out the airlock pretty soon.

Ah...nice to know he's not charming.

But it's worse than that, I'm afraid. One of my crewmates contacted me. Apparently he's a traitor and murderer.

No kidding.

[Maybe he SHOULD've let Alex castrate the guy while she was ahead.]

Just when we got a new security guy too...
I'll keep an eye on him. Can't promise that he'll come to your ship, but I'll try my best.

Don't worry. We already have security measures up from Azula's arrival.

Besides, you should know, some of the people he claims to have killed were children. [Just when you can't think this guy gets worse] I'll be honest. I don't think I could stop our security officer from killing him if he tried coming to the Blue Fish, as it was his family that was betrayed by Theon.

Children. That dumbass murdered children.

[There's a long pause, because what do you say to that? Even Stefan wants to toss him out the airlock now.]

Shit, I knew Atroma brought some characters on board, but a child murderer? That's a new low, even for them.

Edited (icon fail) 2016-02-07 06:35 (UTC)

I know. I'd almost take a violent demon over this. At least they have an excuse for their evil.

[What with being demons and all. This guy is a human.]

Demons and vampires can't always help what they are. If I can resist feeding on people, then he's more than capable of playing nice.

Thanks for telling me. I'm going to guess you've told Alex already?

Yeah. Maybe you could do some intimidating vampire moves if he gets out of line. Scare the hell out of him.

[He doesn't know what Stefan can do, but he's a vamp! Surely he can make himself seem terrifying]

Yeah, I did. You're both my friends, so I felt I should let both of you know.

Already planning on it. (:

Got it. Theon was his usual charming self with her, so I wasn't looking forward to breaking the news.

[Because he tells her everything, even the things he should keep to himself in hindsight]

Ah, yes. She seems to hate him already.

Maybe she'll turn him into a frog.

Can you blame her? He's questioning her qualifications AND being a total dick about it.

That may be too merciful. I'd prefer a paperweight.

I didn't say I blamed her. I'd be more worried if he were charming.

[Since the charming ones were the most dangerous]

Then he'd be touching your paperwork.

True. He could've been more like my brother.

[Another story for another time.]

But the paperweight'll stay still. Can't say the same for a frog.

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