stefanged | Drift Fleet

guess who did something dumb again
srsly just stick me in a nunnery or something already

You don't do dumb things, Alex. Promise.
What happened? If you feel like talking about it, I mean?

[There's a couple of minutes before her next message.]

i kind of tried to come onto this guy i know
because i thought maybe he liked me
and everything went bad

he said he didn't know what he was thinking to flirt with me in the first place

[Oh. Oh crap, this is exactly what happened with them - and now he's a bit concerned. He might be peering around the ship to see if he can find her in-person...]

He was nervous. Nervous that maybe it won't go well, and he took himself out of the equation before anything could.
It's not your fault.
I promise, it's not your fault.

[She'll be in the kitchen, sitting on the counter.]

only because i had to go and say something stupid
which makes it my fault
he totally freaked out

That says more about him than you.
He wasn't ready for anything romantic. He might like you a lot.
Trust me, guys are way more nervous about this kind of thing.

[It takes him a few minutes, but he does finally find her as he passes the doorway - and he hesitates there, before awkwardly standing just past the door. If she wants to keep texting, he's fine, but as of right now...]

I'm sorry.

[She looks up at him, and manages a little half-smiles.]

Hey.

[This is getting ridiculous, the amount of time she's spent making pathetic noises at him over boys. She runs a hand through her hair and tries again.]

I'm, uh. I'm fine. Just.

[A little shrug. There aren't really good words happening right now.]

["Fine" isn't even remotely the closest word he has for this whole mess. Without another word, he gets up on the counter and sits beside her.]

I know.

[He manages a half-smile, tempted to pull her close, but he won't right now - because after all, he was one of the boys who she's been making pathetic noises over. It would be kinda hypocritical.] I prefer talking in person, you know? This seemed too important.

[Alex just nods. She wants to lean against him, put her head on his shoulder, but she's feeling a bit like she's in a minefield right now. Anything she touches is just going to come back to hurt her.]

... I just don't get how I can't see it sooner, you know? When someone doesn't want me. Like, the first guy I met in Paradisa dumped me when he couldn't get it up. Another one dumped me for his best friend. And none of the rest even looked at me that way, but I knew when to give up.

[She shrugs, leaning back against the wall.]

I guess I'm just desperate. I don't even want to do the stupid dating thing anymore, I want to just have someone... someone there, you know? Another half.

[He leans back with her, leaning in a little closer as if asking silent permission for her to lean on him - because frankly, he wants to hug her. He wants to take her hand and hold onto it and let her know that she's gonna get through this and...

Well, he might've unconsciously done so with her hand. A bit too late to take it back right now.]

Dating's pretty stupid. It's.. if you're gonna fall in love with someone, it's not because of how they look. It's because they're your friend first, and because they're the kind of person you'll drag to the grocery store at 2 in the morning or fall asleep on while watching Netflix.

[He stares down at their hands, trying to think of how to best put this...]

You're gonna find someone great, because you're you. Who cares about the dumb guys you met along the way? [A small, hesitant pause] And uh... not all love has to be romantic. You know that, right?

"Friend first" is kind of my problem here.

[She gives a bitter, watery little laugh, she does accept his hand, slowly lacing her fingers with his.]

... I know that it's not all about romance. It's not the be-all-end-all of life or something. But it's good to know that someone wants you. Like, that someone out there thinks of you as more than a friend, in whatever way that is.

[He's quiet for a few seconds, because he has no real answer for that problem. Every single girl he's fallen in love with has been his friend first - with the exception of Elena, because somehow Salvatore fell in love with her before making the first move. (Good job, past life.)

Still... she approaches love a lot like he does, and he can't say he faults her for it.]

I'm sure someone out there does. May not be me, or the guy you said something to, but... you've got a date coming up with Cass, right? Maybe third time's the charm.

[He glances up at her briefly, managing a smile.] Don't let something I, or this guy, or the dumb ones before us, prevent you from trying again.

I don't know, haven't talked to her yet.

[She is honestly a little bit ashamed of that - she isn't sure what she's holding out for, but she just feels like she can't get a stranger involved in her life yet. Not while she's still such a mess, hung up on everyone who even looks her way. She wouldn't be a very fun date, not right now.]

I'm tired, Stef. Part of me just wants to curl up in bed and stay there.

[He squeezes her hand tightly.] Bed does sound kinda nice.

Except, if you stay in too long, you miss out on things like desert moons, and stupid barfights, and people who don't mind hanging out with you.

[The one downside of being on reality TV: the real world can't distract you as much with things like jobs and school and other social circles to immerse yourself in. He's kinda missing what he had in Jordan way more than he ever thought he would.] If you're gonna crawl back into bed, at least have some tea before you crash.

[She manages a smile, bumping his shoulder lightly with her own.]

As long as you don't get me addicted to it. You don't want to see me with the extra caffeine.

Somehow, I don't think that's possible.

[He caves into temptation, reaching over and giving her a quick hug before he hops off to brew some tea.] From what I understand, I'm in a class all my own on there.

[She hugs him back, letting go a bit sooner than she would have liked.]

Hey, who knows. Maybe it's just a supernaturals thing. Maybe I could get addicted too, and the whole ship would become this black tea crack den.

God, I don't even want to imagine the day.

[His voice is light as ever, but he's so making faces at her as he grabs the mugs.]

We're already two-fifths of the way there with James and me. Let's try not to drag Max and Kirito down with us.

[Alex laughs a little at that.]

Clearly, we're the most emotionally healthy crew in the Fleet.

Course we are.

[He laughs too, brewing the tea for them like it's old habit (well, because it's old habit).] We're the best ship on this Fleet, aren't we?

[She slides off of the counter, and comes to lean a couple of feet beside him. Tentatively, she stretches out her foot to prod at his.]

Yeah. We really are.

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