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Entry tags:
entranceway; ic contact
"It's Stefan. Leave a message."
text | voice | video | action
"It's Stefan. Leave a message."
text | voice | video | action
[ barry's pretty tardy for the christmas party, so it's within a flash he leaves stefan a cardboard box. inside of the box is a collection of books. the books are the following:
• Biochemistry for Dummies
• Environmental Science for Dummies
• Chemistry Essentials for Dummies
• Holes by Louis Sacher
• a pack of kitchen hairnets
there's even a christmas card that reads:
Stefan,
Happy Holidays!
I thought you could use these. Hairnets because OH&S is very important. Books, which you can use as doorstops, paper flatteners, weapons, and wood for any future fires you'd like to set not on your head.
You might enjoy Holes. It's a kid's book, but it's a good one. I promise it won't put you to sleep like the others.
I hope you enjoy the holidays. Don't be hard on yourself for not remembering stuff. Think of it as a chance to relearn the things you enjoy and to discover yourself. Santa's probably wiped your slate clean, so if you were bad and were going to get coal, at least you're not getting it now!
Best wishes,
Barry
P.S. There'll be an exam. Don't know when, don't know where, but I hope Wonderland shoves us together again. ]
• Biochemistry for Dummies
• Environmental Science for Dummies
• Chemistry Essentials for Dummies
• Holes by Louis Sacher
• a pack of kitchen hairnets
there's even a christmas card that reads:
Stefan,
Happy Holidays!
I thought you could use these. Hairnets because OH&S is very important. Books, which you can use as doorstops, paper flatteners, weapons, and wood for any future fires you'd like to set not on your head.
You might enjoy Holes. It's a kid's book, but it's a good one. I promise it won't put you to sleep like the others.
I hope you enjoy the holidays. Don't be hard on yourself for not remembering stuff. Think of it as a chance to relearn the things you enjoy and to discover yourself. Santa's probably wiped your slate clean, so if you were bad and were going to get coal, at least you're not getting it now!
Best wishes,
Barry
P.S. There'll be an exam. Don't know when, don't know where, but I hope Wonderland shoves us together again. ]
[ katherine dislikes being in anyone's debt. stefan giving her a gift is uncomfortable, and though she knows that it'd been born from a genuine desire to gift her something, she's unsettled accepting it knowing their history. he doesn't know it, and she knows stefan would never think to give her anything on christmas day. to take from stefan is to fall into a habit that she isn't sure is hers — and, besides, she doesn't want him to turn around like she owes him something. ]
[ rather than display the same courage as he had by knocking on her door and gifting her shoes, she leaves it by his door instead the morning of the new year. ]
[ she leaves him the following, wrapped in plain paper with a post-it that reads in her neat cursive: We're even.
• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland with her own notes written all over the book, which isn't obviously designed to help him navigate a world he should know, but unfortunately doesn't. some of those notes are as helpful as Just cut off her head already. and Don't drink "Drink Me" potions inside of a house.
• A Midsummer Night's Dream in what she had tried to get in its most original form. the book looks worn and like an old print. ]
[ rather than display the same courage as he had by knocking on her door and gifting her shoes, she leaves it by his door instead the morning of the new year. ]
[ she leaves him the following, wrapped in plain paper with a post-it that reads in her neat cursive: We're even.
• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland with her own notes written all over the book, which isn't obviously designed to help him navigate a world he should know, but unfortunately doesn't. some of those notes are as helpful as Just cut off her head already. and Don't drink "Drink Me" potions inside of a house.
• A Midsummer Night's Dream in what she had tried to get in its most original form. the book looks worn and like an old print. ]
[Stefan gets a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Yeah, this is both a jibe at him being old and little joke over how much times have changed. A small tag reads, "Merry ChristMax!"]
[ she gives a small laugh. ]
You know, every time I read this book, I ask myself the same question.
[ and every time she reads it, she ends up changing her mind, torn between supporting jane's choice, and being disgusted by rochester's behavior. ] I think ... what it comes down to is: their losses shaped them in really different ways, but they were also similar in equally significant ways. They both knew what it felt like to be alone and unloved. To be on the outside. They found something in each other they didn't find elsewhere.
[ her fingertip traces the book's cover. ]
I don't know. So many people focus on their love, and there is love in the story, but it's not the story. The story is Jane, who wasn't there to be beautiful or to be wanted or to be anything anyone else expected her to be. She fought to live life on her own terms and refused to be powerless. [ she leaves rochester. she loves him and she leaves him. ] However we feel about her choices, they were wholly and completely hers.
[ it's a story worth telling, no? ]
You know, every time I read this book, I ask myself the same question.
[ and every time she reads it, she ends up changing her mind, torn between supporting jane's choice, and being disgusted by rochester's behavior. ] I think ... what it comes down to is: their losses shaped them in really different ways, but they were also similar in equally significant ways. They both knew what it felt like to be alone and unloved. To be on the outside. They found something in each other they didn't find elsewhere.
[ her fingertip traces the book's cover. ]
I don't know. So many people focus on their love, and there is love in the story, but it's not the story. The story is Jane, who wasn't there to be beautiful or to be wanted or to be anything anyone else expected her to be. She fought to live life on her own terms and refused to be powerless. [ she leaves rochester. she loves him and she leaves him. ] However we feel about her choices, they were wholly and completely hers.
[ it's a story worth telling, no? ]
You're welcome. Elena had mentioned you liked books so I picked some things I enjoyed or were on one of those "greatest books to read before you die" lists.
Hypothetically, thats volume 1, so you can go on from there. There's a lot of volumes, his stories have spanned a few decades. I can pick out some interesting ones if you wanted.
[ If you let him go full on nerd he will lend you his entire collection. ]
Hypothetically, thats volume 1, so you can go on from there. There's a lot of volumes, his stories have spanned a few decades. I can pick out some interesting ones if you wanted.
[ If you let him go full on nerd he will lend you his entire collection. ]
[Ah. Stefan's gotta admit, out of all the people here, Elena is definitely one of the ones who would know him (old him) the best.]
Could you really?
I can't say I know much about the genre, let alone how it's developed in the past 80 (?) years, but it was fun. I wouldn't mind trying some more.
Could you really?
I can't say I know much about the genre, let alone how it's developed in the past 80 (?) years, but it was fun. I wouldn't mind trying some more.
Sure. There's plenty there to keep you occupied. Also other characters and cross overs. Its a very complicated world.
[ He would know, he lives in it. ]
I'll get you the next volume if you want.
[ He would know, he lives in it. ]
I'll get you the next volume if you want.
Sure, but other people have the right to react to whatever choices she made.
[There's a gleam in his eye - the kind that can mean no good whatsoever, because a literature debate? He's always up for those - as he takes a sip of his tea and sets the mug down on the table. Stefan pulls a leg up under him as he gets more comfortable.]
I mean, didn't Rochester have a wife locked up in that attic? She might've been mentally insane, but you can't say that he treated her - or Jane - right in trying to have his cake and eat it too.
[There's a gleam in his eye - the kind that can mean no good whatsoever, because a literature debate? He's always up for those - as he takes a sip of his tea and sets the mug down on the table. Stefan pulls a leg up under him as he gets more comfortable.]
I mean, didn't Rochester have a wife locked up in that attic? She might've been mentally insane, but you can't say that he treated her - or Jane - right in trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Edited 2017-01-07 04:23 (UTC)
You don't have to get me anything. I'm happy to share my collection.
Sounds good. Library?
Sounds good. Library?
[ elena's head cants to the side with a small smirk, not unlike the gleam in his eye. ]
Isn't that an answer to a different question? We weren't talking about Jane's choices being free of judgment, or whether Rochester was reprehensible or not. [ she'd agree a lot of his actions are. ] You were wondering what Jane saw in him.
Isn't that an answer to a different question? We weren't talking about Jane's choices being free of judgment, or whether Rochester was reprehensible or not. [ she'd agree a lot of his actions are. ] You were wondering what Jane saw in him.
Edited 2017-01-07 18:24 (UTC)
Sure sounds good. I'll be there.
[ OOC: do we wanna do an in game log? ]
[ OOC: do we wanna do an in game log? ]
[it's been difficult navigating everything with stefan in a way that's supportive without pushing because of all damon knows.
coming from differing points in time, it's- it's been harder lately. he has five years on his shoulders. when stefan arrived, damon was the one that was behind, but his brother couldn't remember anything at all so damon gave him options.
if he wanted his memories back, damon would do whatever he could to help with that. if he didn't want them back, damon would help him know whatever details were important enough and support whoever he ended up becoming while still being there for him along the way. he left it up to stefan to choose.
then suddenly he's transported back to mystic falls for five years and then back to wonderland all over again. now damon has lived it. he's lived through stefan forgetting and then remembering. he has lived through their struggling together to become brothers and to embrace what that means. they lived through their mother returning from the grave, lived through damon dying, through both their experiences in the hellstone. and they have-- they had finally found their way.
one of his last memories was of telling his brother to not follow him into the armory, convincing him to stay outside of it. and now damon know he's not getting out of that armory, not without some big cost, and it scares him, but he did right by stefan, did right by bonnie and caroline and all of them (and elena, he did right by her).
in wonderland, elena has told stefan about the two of them, and she also told him it didn't go very well. damon reaches out whether or not stefan wants him to, because damon promised himself somewhere along the way that he'd be a better brother.]
So when do you want to talk or punch me or whatever your heart desires?
coming from differing points in time, it's- it's been harder lately. he has five years on his shoulders. when stefan arrived, damon was the one that was behind, but his brother couldn't remember anything at all so damon gave him options.
if he wanted his memories back, damon would do whatever he could to help with that. if he didn't want them back, damon would help him know whatever details were important enough and support whoever he ended up becoming while still being there for him along the way. he left it up to stefan to choose.
then suddenly he's transported back to mystic falls for five years and then back to wonderland all over again. now damon has lived it. he's lived through stefan forgetting and then remembering. he has lived through their struggling together to become brothers and to embrace what that means. they lived through their mother returning from the grave, lived through damon dying, through both their experiences in the hellstone. and they have-- they had finally found their way.
one of his last memories was of telling his brother to not follow him into the armory, convincing him to stay outside of it. and now damon know he's not getting out of that armory, not without some big cost, and it scares him, but he did right by stefan, did right by bonnie and caroline and all of them (and elena, he did right by her).
in wonderland, elena has told stefan about the two of them, and she also told him it didn't go very well. damon reaches out whether or not stefan wants him to, because damon promised himself somewhere along the way that he'd be a better brother.]
So when do you want to talk or punch me or whatever your heart desires?
Edited 2017-01-22 22:11 (UTC)
I don't.
[Two whole days, and now Damon has the raw nerve to text him. Stefan's tempted to just let the text sit there. His brother doesn't deserve a sappy talk or even a strong punch. No, a punch is too merciful.
(A stake to the heart wouldn't even kill him forever. What good is violence when it wouldn't cure what's really bothering him?)
He doesn't want to hear whatever Damon would say. Stefan doesn't think he can stomach it. At the same time, they're family, and that pull of shared blood and DNA forces him to say something - even if he's already regretting what he'll say next - ]
Did you know that other people have actual family that DOESN'T try to actively screw them over? I sure didn't.
[Two whole days, and now Damon has the raw nerve to text him. Stefan's tempted to just let the text sit there. His brother doesn't deserve a sappy talk or even a strong punch. No, a punch is too merciful.
(A stake to the heart wouldn't even kill him forever. What good is violence when it wouldn't cure what's really bothering him?)
He doesn't want to hear whatever Damon would say. Stefan doesn't think he can stomach it. At the same time, they're family, and that pull of shared blood and DNA forces him to say something - even if he's already regretting what he'll say next - ]
Did you know that other people have actual family that DOESN'T try to actively screw them over? I sure didn't.
You're going to have to be more specific, because it's been a really long time since I actively tried to screw you over.
[And he's spent his Wonderland stint trying to be as helpful and supportive as possible in his own way in a seemingly impossible situation. Damon doesn't know that he has the energy for this, but he knows he has to so he's here. He also doesn't like doing this sort of conversation over text.
It seems too passive, and Damon prefers to deal with things head on.]
Where are you?
[And he's spent his Wonderland stint trying to be as helpful and supportive as possible in his own way in a seemingly impossible situation. Damon doesn't know that he has the energy for this, but he knows he has to so he's here. He also doesn't like doing this sort of conversation over text.
It seems too passive, and Damon prefers to deal with things head on.]
Where are you?
* it's been every single day since I got here.
Thanks for playing, though.
[Now he understands why Damon has been impossibly kind and supportive. Damon was trying to soften the blow, to make Stefan feel like he could accept something that been going under his nose for a long, long time. Joke's on Damon: Stefan is no longer interested in playing nice.
With the new framework he's been given, kindness and love were tricks up Damon's sleeve to get what he wanted. Well, his brother got it - and if Elena had really considered Stefan's happiness? At any moment in time? Maybe she should've told him from day one.]
Doesn't matter. Still don't want to talk to you.
[Stefan's still a creature of habit: he doesn't stray far from the tea rooms on the first or second floors. (They're cozier, more private on this floor, he's come to realize.) He's found impossible comfort in freshly-baked cinnamon rolls and masala chai, just as he's found that same comfort in old journals and in fancy fountain pens with strong black ink.
He won't be hard to locate, either - the intermingled scents of strong spices and sweet, gooey cinnamon rolls are all him.]
Thanks for playing, though.
[Now he understands why Damon has been impossibly kind and supportive. Damon was trying to soften the blow, to make Stefan feel like he could accept something that been going under his nose for a long, long time. Joke's on Damon: Stefan is no longer interested in playing nice.
With the new framework he's been given, kindness and love were tricks up Damon's sleeve to get what he wanted. Well, his brother got it - and if Elena had really considered Stefan's happiness? At any moment in time? Maybe she should've told him from day one.]
Doesn't matter. Still don't want to talk to you.
[Stefan's still a creature of habit: he doesn't stray far from the tea rooms on the first or second floors. (They're cozier, more private on this floor, he's come to realize.) He's found impossible comfort in freshly-baked cinnamon rolls and masala chai, just as he's found that same comfort in old journals and in fancy fountain pens with strong black ink.
He won't be hard to locate, either - the intermingled scents of strong spices and sweet, gooey cinnamon rolls are all him.]
[Damon is still super confused. He's also a little miffed, because he's put in actual effort every single day since his brother got here to do the right thing, and when his brother first got here, he was really terrible at doing the right thing most of the time, but he did it.
He finds Stefan without needing an answer, taking a walk into the room without any warning that he's coming. His voice is relatively level, but he steps in and makes a direct move toward Stefan. He's done running around. During the mindscape, he tried over and over again to get Stefan to come clean with him, and he didn't, and he's done.]
You're going to have to clarify the bullshit you're trying to sell me, little brother, because how ever you're seeing things? They're not true.
He finds Stefan without needing an answer, taking a walk into the room without any warning that he's coming. His voice is relatively level, but he steps in and makes a direct move toward Stefan. He's done running around. During the mindscape, he tried over and over again to get Stefan to come clean with him, and he didn't, and he's done.]
You're going to have to clarify the bullshit you're trying to sell me, little brother, because how ever you're seeing things? They're not true.
[What part of I don't want to talk was foreign gibberish??
Stefan rises to his feet, slamming his journal shut and folding his arms as he regards his brother. His eyes are still bloodshot, two whole days later, and his hoodie's all wrinkled, as if he had slept in it the night before. (He did. His hoodie also reeks of bunny blood. Unsurprisingly, munching on Peter Rabbit doesn't cure heartache.)
Someone has given up on maintaining personal appearances, and that someone is Stefan Salvatore. He'll go ahead and close the distance between them, since someone was kind enough to find him despite him insisting on the complete opposite.]
Really? You didn't once think to tell me, oh, hey, I like the same girl, and oh, hey, maybe we're dating? I had to hear it from her?
[That stings, bro. That stings a LOT.]
Stefan rises to his feet, slamming his journal shut and folding his arms as he regards his brother. His eyes are still bloodshot, two whole days later, and his hoodie's all wrinkled, as if he had slept in it the night before. (He did. His hoodie also reeks of bunny blood. Unsurprisingly, munching on Peter Rabbit doesn't cure heartache.)
Someone has given up on maintaining personal appearances, and that someone is Stefan Salvatore. He'll go ahead and close the distance between them, since someone was kind enough to find him despite him insisting on the complete opposite.]
Really? You didn't once think to tell me, oh, hey, I like the same girl, and oh, hey, maybe we're dating? I had to hear it from her?
[That stings, bro. That stings a LOT.]
What? [Damon doesn't back down either. His gaze locks on to his little brother's, and again, he's firm but not really out of control. It's hard for him to wrap his head around it. This feels like such a long time ago, and he didn't even know Stefan had feelings for Elena still or he would have warned him.] As far as I knew from what you told me, you were already aware I had feelings for her back where we're from, and you were already hurt by it. I was trying not to hurt you more with something that wasn't even official yet.
[Sure, they'd been dancing around a maybe, but Elena didn't know for certain what she wanted, and Damon was very okay with that. They were figuring out what was even there between them at that point, and then Damon was fast forwarded many years and he lived through moments Elena never did. It required a different figuring it out, but it wasn't until New Year's Eve that she officially said she was in love with him, that they were really in a relationship.]
That still doesn't answer why you think I've been screwing you over since you got here when I've been trying to help you from the start.
[Sure, they'd been dancing around a maybe, but Elena didn't know for certain what she wanted, and Damon was very okay with that. They were figuring out what was even there between them at that point, and then Damon was fast forwarded many years and he lived through moments Elena never did. It required a different figuring it out, but it wasn't until New Year's Eve that she officially said she was in love with him, that they were really in a relationship.]
That still doesn't answer why you think I've been screwing you over since you got here when I've been trying to help you from the start.
[with a scoff:] You're a little too late for that.
[He's already hurt. The last thing he wants is logic and reasoning and whatever bullshit Damon's going to pass off as the truth. Of course he had danced and danced around his feelings back in the mindscape - he didn't want to ruin what could've been a good thing.
Nevermind that this "good thing" was false to begin with. Nevermind that he had been played like a fiddle - or maybe that was a guitar.]
Help me? Come on, you just wanted me to be okay with your new girlfriend. That's why you're here now, aren't you? Just to make sure I won't tell all of Wonderland?
[Stefan hasn't even made a network post yet. He's not sure when he will, given how permanent those things feel - and how he's constantly reminded that people from home are watching and reading his every move.]
[He's already hurt. The last thing he wants is logic and reasoning and whatever bullshit Damon's going to pass off as the truth. Of course he had danced and danced around his feelings back in the mindscape - he didn't want to ruin what could've been a good thing.
Nevermind that this "good thing" was false to begin with. Nevermind that he had been played like a fiddle - or maybe that was a guitar.]
Help me? Come on, you just wanted me to be okay with your new girlfriend. That's why you're here now, aren't you? Just to make sure I won't tell all of Wonderland?
[Stefan hasn't even made a network post yet. He's not sure when he will, given how permanent those things feel - and how he's constantly reminded that people from home are watching and reading his every move.]
[Damon freezes and flinches abruptly finally understanding in a way he wishes he never understood, because he's not prepared for the emotions which come next.
Every moment of kindness, every moment of love that he showed to his brother, Stefan believes, for some reason, was completely false. Damon does many terrible things, but he does not ever use kindness or love in that way. It's difficult for him to show either. They're vulnerabilities that he didn't allow of himself at all for decades, because they were dangerous, because they were scary.
It's made even worse because he's coming off their mother dying right in front of them, and despite the way he felt inside (how wrecked and grieving), he could not manage an ounce of kindness for the woman, he could not give himself or her what he so desperately wanted to. He told her to die in the bed she'd made, and then the hellstone reminded him that- that deep fucking down (despite everything she'd done to Damon, to Stefan, to Elena), he wanted her to give him a chance to let her love him. And he couldn't manage it while she was dying there, because it was terrifying.
A mother, he can't talk to Stefan about because Stefan has wanted not to know about their past life, and Damon has respected it. Because Damon cannot get out the words to admit to his little brother that their mother abandoned them, that their mother didn't have the words to save her own son form himself (couldn't muster up the ability to pretend to care about him). A mother who put Elena in a box to punish him, and if it wasn't for her, she would still be out there where they're from, living her life with her friends and her family.
He shakes once and then swallows thickly to gather it back up, and he shuts off any trace of vulnerability in this moment.]
Tell whoever you want, Stefan, because I love Elena and I will never be sorry or ashamed of that, and we're not hiding it. She's the best damn thing that ever happened to me. We didn't tell you, because we weren't official yet, and the moment we were, you were the first person that was told.
I was kind to you because you're my brother, and it was important to me to take care of you like it was when we were little. If you want to twist it all around in your head to be your own bitter version of events, go right ahead.
I'm done. I'll give you your space like you wanted. [It's the last words he says before he turns and leaves.]
Every moment of kindness, every moment of love that he showed to his brother, Stefan believes, for some reason, was completely false. Damon does many terrible things, but he does not ever use kindness or love in that way. It's difficult for him to show either. They're vulnerabilities that he didn't allow of himself at all for decades, because they were dangerous, because they were scary.
It's made even worse because he's coming off their mother dying right in front of them, and despite the way he felt inside (how wrecked and grieving), he could not manage an ounce of kindness for the woman, he could not give himself or her what he so desperately wanted to. He told her to die in the bed she'd made, and then the hellstone reminded him that- that deep fucking down (despite everything she'd done to Damon, to Stefan, to Elena), he wanted her to give him a chance to let her love him. And he couldn't manage it while she was dying there, because it was terrifying.
A mother, he can't talk to Stefan about because Stefan has wanted not to know about their past life, and Damon has respected it. Because Damon cannot get out the words to admit to his little brother that their mother abandoned them, that their mother didn't have the words to save her own son form himself (couldn't muster up the ability to pretend to care about him). A mother who put Elena in a box to punish him, and if it wasn't for her, she would still be out there where they're from, living her life with her friends and her family.
He shakes once and then swallows thickly to gather it back up, and he shuts off any trace of vulnerability in this moment.]
Tell whoever you want, Stefan, because I love Elena and I will never be sorry or ashamed of that, and we're not hiding it. She's the best damn thing that ever happened to me. We didn't tell you, because we weren't official yet, and the moment we were, you were the first person that was told.
I was kind to you because you're my brother, and it was important to me to take care of you like it was when we were little. If you want to twist it all around in your head to be your own bitter version of events, go right ahead.
I'm done. I'll give you your space like you wanted. [It's the last words he says before he turns and leaves.]
Edited 2017-01-23 01:10 (UTC)
[Maybe, in another life and another time, he would've understood that his brother didn't use kindness as a weapon. He would've understood that every conversation, every moment between them, hadn't been a complete lie - but from where he stands? It had been a giant lie.
Why else would someone so combative care? Why else would someone toss him into Silas's arms and simultaneously take it all back?
It certainly wasn't because he -
He cared. He sincerely, truly cared, and Stefan had driven him away with incendiary words and an equally fiery attitude. He blinks back tears, sinking back into his armchair.]
Fine. I think I will.
[He's speaking to empty air and he knows it as he furiously tries to wipe away at tears that just won't stop. He should pull out his communicator and call or text someone, maybe follow up on that damn empty threat now that Damon knows, but it remains untouched. Just like his (now cold) comfort food.
Stefan got exactly what he wanted, and for the first time, he's starting to think it's not all it's cracked up to be.]
Why else would someone so combative care? Why else would someone toss him into Silas's arms and simultaneously take it all back?
It certainly wasn't because he -
He cared. He sincerely, truly cared, and Stefan had driven him away with incendiary words and an equally fiery attitude. He blinks back tears, sinking back into his armchair.]
Fine. I think I will.
[He's speaking to empty air and he knows it as he furiously tries to wipe away at tears that just won't stop. He should pull out his communicator and call or text someone, maybe follow up on that damn empty threat now that Damon knows, but it remains untouched. Just like his (now cold) comfort food.
Stefan got exactly what he wanted, and for the first time, he's starting to think it's not all it's cracked up to be.]
[ katherine likes to believe herself to be a decisive person. when she wants something, she gets it. when she wants to avoid something, it never gets close to capturing her. but the line she toes with stefan is one that she knows she's revisiting, having explored it in 1864 and supposedly learned her lesson. ]
[ avoiding him ever since the dreams in wonderland had turned into nightmares had been the wisest choice at the time; she's been successful in staying far from him, pushing him from her mind as she'd succeeded in doing for centuries. she's changed her routine, taking her time to read silly novels in the tea room on the eight floor instead of any of the lower ones. she takes walks in the woods instead of in the gardens, and even goes to the beach despite disliking the smell of the salty water. her mind's never far from lingering on that little girl scrunching her nose and looking at her as though she didn't recognise her. ]
[ she knows stefan is far from the stefan who had been in her dream, but even katherine has her moments of not being strong enough to look someone in the eye. ]
[ space is an adventure she doesn't quite mind, enjoying the fashion and the flying cars, but she finds that she wishes to spend it with someone, and often that person is the very one she wishes to avoid. she thinks to find him, perhaps in a boring bookstore or a place that sells hair gel, but she avoids those stores as much as she can. it's within one decisive moment she uses her space-phone, and decides, then and there, not to phone him, but text — it's so much safer and easier to control if she doesn't let him hear her voice. ]
I'm bored.
[ avoiding him ever since the dreams in wonderland had turned into nightmares had been the wisest choice at the time; she's been successful in staying far from him, pushing him from her mind as she'd succeeded in doing for centuries. she's changed her routine, taking her time to read silly novels in the tea room on the eight floor instead of any of the lower ones. she takes walks in the woods instead of in the gardens, and even goes to the beach despite disliking the smell of the salty water. her mind's never far from lingering on that little girl scrunching her nose and looking at her as though she didn't recognise her. ]
[ she knows stefan is far from the stefan who had been in her dream, but even katherine has her moments of not being strong enough to look someone in the eye. ]
[ space is an adventure she doesn't quite mind, enjoying the fashion and the flying cars, but she finds that she wishes to spend it with someone, and often that person is the very one she wishes to avoid. she thinks to find him, perhaps in a boring bookstore or a place that sells hair gel, but she avoids those stores as much as she can. it's within one decisive moment she uses her space-phone, and decides, then and there, not to phone him, but text — it's so much safer and easier to control if she doesn't let him hear her voice. ]
I'm bored.
[ Likewise, Stefan had in turn done his best to avoid Katherine's watchful eye. He chose different corridors of the library; he took to spending different hours in the music room; and he even started to spend more time in Darcy's coffee shop. Life went on, and he would rebuild his story.
He could reinvent himself and start over again. If he did it enough times, he might start to believe in it. (After all, his dream reminded him, his kindness would hurt both of them in the end.)
Yet when he gets a text from Katherine, he can't help scoffing a little at it. She picks now, of all times, to tell him this?]
We're in outer space. How could you possibly be bored?
He could reinvent himself and start over again. If he did it enough times, he might start to believe in it. (After all, his dream reminded him, his kindness would hurt both of them in the end.)
Yet when he gets a text from Katherine, he can't help scoffing a little at it. She picks now, of all times, to tell him this?]
We're in outer space. How could you possibly be bored?
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